32 Funny And Sarcastic Quotes By Carlin


Funny Quotes About Men

Displayed 1-15 of 19 quotes. A great list of quotes about, men. •, The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. • Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.


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1. The ideal man goes home early, doesn't flirt, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't gamble and doesn't exist. 380. 0. Men are like chocolate bars…they're sweet and smooth but head straight for your hips. 449. 1. Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped. 423.


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Whether you are looking for an innovative way to cheer yourself up and deal with the daily stresses, stay focused and motivated, or simply trying to find a fantastic gift for a friend or a loved one, " 500 Funny Quotes for Men" could be a perfect choice!


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Specifically: let's hear what it's like being/loving/living with/working with men, from some of the funniest folk to ever impart their wisdom on the subject. From great wits (Mae West, Groucho.


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Mae West. "Men are all alike -- except the one you've met who's different." "Men are easy to get but hard to keep." "It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men." "Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you." "Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from."


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Funny Quotes for Men and Women. 91. "My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look." - Crimes and Misdemeanors. 92. "Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That's for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve." - David Letterman


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Oscar Wilde. You will earn the respect of all men if you begin by earning the respect of yourself. Musonius Rufus. When you find peace within yourself, you also find peace without. Naga Devi. The crucial thing is to find a truth which is truth for me, to find the idea for which I am willing to live and die.


32 Funny And Sarcastic Quotes By Carlin

Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.". - Michael Scott, The Office. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.". - Charles M. Schulz. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.". - Will Ferrell.


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If you're in need of a good laugh or just some witty words about the opposite sex, look no further than this collection of 100 funny life quotes about men.From clever one-liners to tongue-in-cheek observations, these quotes capture the quirks and idiosyncrasies of men in all their glory.Whether you're a man looking for a good-natured chuckle or a woman seeking some relatable humor, these.


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Funny Quotes. 1. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg. 2. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This.


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Charles Shulz. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.". - George Carlin. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama.


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Here are some hilarious quotes about men that will tickle your funny bone. "When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." ~ Sacha Guitry. "A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing." ~ Duane Dewel. "Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.


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3. "My speech is going to be like a mini-skirt: long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to hold your attention." - Anonymous. 4. "It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married." - Robert Frost. 5. "Marriage is not just spiritual communion.


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What listeners say about 500 Funny Quotes for Men Average customer ratings. Overall. 4.5 out of 5 stars 4.7 out of 5.0 5 Stars 13 4 Stars 1 3 Stars 0 2 Stars 0 1 Stars 1 Performance. 4.5 out of 5 stars 4.7 out of 5.0 5 Stars 13 4 Stars 0 3 Stars 0.


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123. Men are like…..Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. 124. Men are like…..Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. 125. Men are like…..Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.


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8. "By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day." —Robert Frost. 9. "The road to success is always under construction." —Lily.